Yesterday I faced the very difficult decision of calling Roscoe's vet tomorrow and making an appointment to have him Euthenized. I sat and thought about what an active, feisty furbaby he has been all his life. From chasing his mice around the floor to playing soccer with bits of litter compared to these past few weeks when he became sicker and sicker and had to be hospitalized. The yahoo support group I found encouraged me with medications and sub-q IV treatment that I could give him a few more months of quality life.
I asked myself as I sat with tears in my eyes what kind of quality of life was I giving him? I look at my wonderful kitty and can't help but cry when I see him hiding behind the bathroom door, not eating, struggling to his water dish and litter box. The hardest part which makes my tears flow is his not wanting to be held. The struggle giving him medications that I have to force on him and the IV's is not being kind but cruel to a dying kitty.
Yesterday my sister asked me if I was going to have him cremated and if not her friends husband makes small pet shrouds. She has picked out a burgundy one for him and will go with me to the vets. Her husband is going to make him a box and prepare his final resting place out under the trees and ferns.
This has been a very difficult decision to make. I knew when he was hospitalized and I signed a DNR form that I had started coming to terms with loosing him. I am ready to end his pain hard as it is for me to let go. I will miss our lap times as he dances around while I brush him. I will miss him on the bed at night I will miss my companion when John is gone.
5 comments:
I'm so very sorry. I know you are making the right, kind and humane choice for him but my heart cries with you. You've given him a lovely life and your love and support will stay with him as he crosses over. I've been through this way to often in the last couple of years but you are doing the best thing you can for Roscoe.
Hugs to you.
With tears in my eyes I write this. You are giving Roscoe a gift. The ultimate gift to finally be free from pain. I firmly believe that someday you will be reunited with Roscoe. He will be waiting for you and for him it is just a blink of an eye. He will be whole again and chasing mice and playing soccer in heaven. I know how difficult a decision this was for you but to be honest you don't want to have his life filled with pain and not really "living". Soon he will be pain free and playing with other furbabies waiting to be reunited with their families. Roscoe knows he his loved and he has made your life and you have made his life so wonderful. Cherish those memories.
Denise in AK
I'm so sorry for your loss. You were such a good "Mom" and he was lucky to have you.
(((Hugs))) Kathy H.
It seems that you have made a very hard decision - one that is best for you and your furbaby. I'm late in reading your blog so I bet the next few days were hard but got a teeny bit easier every day. Please remember the good days you had with Roscoe and know that he loved you very much, to the very end. Your friend was nice to offer the shroud and burial box. Much nicer than what I had to offer my Tula on her last day.
He is pain free now and that is a good thing. You did right by not making him suffer. It's so hard to let go of our furbabies. Just know we are all out here sharing your sorrow. ♥
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